i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
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Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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