I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
