If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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