OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize