he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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