You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
