That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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