Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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