Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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