Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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