remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize