why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
