Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk