Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
