I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.