Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
