Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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