this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize