i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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