Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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