check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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