your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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