i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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