i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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