I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
