yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I wish there were birth control emojis
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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