He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
