I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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