I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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