How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
