Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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