For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
