You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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