So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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