Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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