Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
