he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
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I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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