When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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