i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize