last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
