feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
