im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
