the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
