Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
