He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
