No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
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Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
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I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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