it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
