i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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