38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize