ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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