Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
