i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
