Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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