Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We're too hungover to prance.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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