i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
