another moral hangover. fuck.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Quick, to the slutcave!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
