i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
