People in love make me want to vomit
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
