I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
