My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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