They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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