So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize