I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize