Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.