you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think your dad took our porno
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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