SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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