I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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